I think I can, I think I can. I hope I can?

February 17, 2016


I am crawling towards the weekend Andy Dufresne style, because Joe is finally off on Saturday.

It’s been almost exactly 1 month since we’ve had a mutual day off.

1 month since Maisie has gotten to spend time with BOTH of her parents.  At the same time.

Instead of exchanging tidbits and saying things like “oh yeah, she does that for me too,” we can just enjoy her together.  We can laugh when she does something funny instead of trying to catch it on video for the other.

I am thankful each and every day to have this healthy child.  But I cannot keep this blog honest without documenting how hard it has been.  How my craving for time together as a family will turn into a physical ache if too much time passes.  My Mom would (and literally did) tell me to “pull up my bootstraps.”

But the issues I am facing were never her own.

Will I ever get to be the class Mom?  Who will take her to ballet or soccer practice?  How will I have time to make sure she is eating nutritious meals for dinner?

These are the thoughts that keep me awake at night.

I know that I need to work.   I know that there are probably more working Moms than stay at home Moms on Long Island.  I know and comprehend these things in my head.

But it’s not my head that’s hurting.

It’s my heart.


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